Poolparazzi

Hello hello hello.

It’s time for another healthy dose of the Mendeleevs.

But probably don’t ingest any of the elements that are currently in this legacy because I’m not an actual science person but Wikipedia seems to agree that eating Thulium is a no-no.

Also don’t eat my sims.

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Europium: Have you ever considered dressing in a manner more appropriate for a family of our rank and history?

Lutetium: I’m mostly wondering why we have a piano room with no ceiling.

I don’t know but probably if it rained you could make a kickass music video for some sad moody song. If rain were possible. Which it’s not.

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Lutetium: See, Thulium? We can shun other people in the family besides you.

Thulium: … this feels so liberating?

Ytterbium: Whatever. I don’t care if you won’t let me sit with you. : I I have tons of people who love me on Tumblr and we all reblog the same five pictures of lip gloss from one another.

That’s how aesthetic tumblr works right.

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Speaking of aesthetics, I wanted to show off Lutetium’s clothes.

Lutetium: Now I’m shunning both of them. Take that.

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Somehow she ends up as the last one in the building. : /

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Ytterbium: I don’t understand my science homework at all. : I Seasons? Precipitation? Everyone knows those don’t exist.

Not since… at least ten generations ago, I’m pretty sure.

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WOMP.

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Terbium: Hello, my dear daughter. I’ve come to be motherly and complain about art to you, because I’m a good mom.

Ytterbium: … first off, you’re talking to the wrong person. I have, like, ten aesthetic blogs.

I thought it was five.

Ytterbium: Ten now. Second, you kinda just barged in on me in the bathroom when I was going to take a shower and then take some pictures for my cleancore blog.

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Terbium: Oh, so you like ART? That makes you a dummy poo-poo head!

I friggin’ hate that this interaction is autonomous.

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So I sent Terbium to play piano and get out of everyone’s hair.

For some reason people gathered to listen to her horrible not-even-level-one playing.

Ytterbium: Oh, no. I just came to let mom know that I broke the shower while I was taking pictures for my blog. It was… an intense photo shoot.

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Cleancore.

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Erbium continues to try and kill everyone. The downstairs fridge now induces route fails for no good reason.

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And someone found the bar.

Europium: I feel like… I’m being true to my heritage.

And then he drank another, like a true Mendeleev.

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Terbium: I’m a bit confused about why we’re not best friends yet. I mean, I’m best friends with both of your sisters. What am I supposed to do.

Lutetium: I’m a bit confused about why you walk around the house like that. And why we let Erbium stay when they are trying to kill us all.

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Lutetium: Maybe we can go to the movies or something? Have a family outing where the paparazzi won’t show up. That’d be nice.

Also apparently hard to make happen because the game is a butt.

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Lutetium: Well, bus is here. Time to clean all the dishes on the lot.

Quit stalling and get on the bus.

Lutetium: … stalling? I just want our dishes to be clean.

Cleancore.

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I don’t know why she was stalling, because they went on a field trip like immediately.

Ytterbium: Shit, they don’t feed us on field trips. : I
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Once again, Thulium gets left out.

It’s probably her own fault though.

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Since Thulium’s dream was to start a legacy with her imaginary friend, Riley, I decided to let Riley out.

Riley: So I was thinking firecracker shrimp at the wedding?

Thulium: … you’re like elementary school age and this is really awkward.

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Also awkward is Lutetium’s athletic outfit because I never pay attention to that when doing clothes.

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Enjoy this aesthetically pleasing shot of Ytterbium with alcohol she can’t legally drink. It will probably go up on at least one of her blogs.

Ytterbium: And I’m still totally gonna drink this alcohol.

Naturally.

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Riley: Thuuuuuuliummmmm! I’m older now!

Moon: *is big*

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I found Terbium and Mick dancing.

Terbium was more focused on what book she wanted to read next.

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And then birthday but Mick looks the same so whatever.

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Europium is also not a good pianist.

Europium: I feel some unspeakable presence in this room.

Riley: *heavy breathing*

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Oh wait I did take a picture.

Terbium: I blow in your armpit for good luck!

And then…

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Mick: June, I love… the view from this room.

Europium: *stare*

Terbium: *staaare*

However, they both failed their insight checks so everything’s status quo.

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The next day, Ytterbium skipped school and… no one seemed to care.

She wasn’t scolded or anything.

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Also this kid is definitely dead. Maybe locked away in that mine shaft on the edge of the map.

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Terbium: … fuck. I used ‘invite everyone inside’ and now the poolparazzi are going to contaminate our water.

Random dude on the phone: Um… so did you want to go on that date?

Terbium: Please take me away from this hellscape.

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I mostly agreed because I wanted to see who Scotty was.

Terbium: I mean… a little bland, but not bad.

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Terbium: …and we’re done here.

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Riley: Thuliummmmm. We need to discuss how many babies we’re gonna have!

Thulium: I never thought I’d say this but… LEAVE ME ALONE.

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This was found in the family inventory and I’m just pretending it never existed. Hopefully it won’t destroy everything.

And then the kids were just… invited over to other people’s houses like constantly for a bit.

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Thulium goes to sleep in Bella’s bed and then… again, no one cares. I thought for sure there would be a message about guests behaving inappropriately.

I think it has to do with the inappropriate trait that she can sleep in strangers beds?

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The police certainly care.

Thulium: I’m just strolling casually home…

Cop: No you are not.

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Thulium: If I stand in the corner, maybe they’ll ignore me like they did for the first twelve years of my life.

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Terbium: Thulium Mendeleev! You should know not to stay out this late! You know that if we open the gates after midnight, the poolparazzi will try to barge in. They got in once and now they’re like animals that tasted blood and can’t get enough. But instead of blood it’s chlorinated water.

Ytterbium: … if I stand here in the corner they’ll ignore me.

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Mick: Ytterbium, you know that the poolparazzi come out this late at night. You could have been seriously injured.

Terbium: It’s okay, I’m going to try diplomacy.

Mick: … and now your mother is going out to talk to their leader. If he kills and eats her it’s your fault.

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Terbium: Seriously. What the fuck.

Poolparazzi: Legend says that when the stars are right, the gates shall open and deliver us unto a promised land…

Terbium: Get the hell out of here or I will let you into our pool, and you will not be coming out. Unless you’re like, a ghost.

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…faithful. Yeah. Okay.
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Terbium: … seriously?

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Erbium: Could you not watch TV when I’m sleeping?

Terbium: There are plenty of places to sleep where you can’t hear the TV, so could you not sleep in front of the fridge?

Erbium: If you want me to sleep somewhere else, then tell me who stole my clothes when I was in the hot tub.

Terbium: THAT WAS YEARS AGO, YOU TURD.

SCORE:

Self Wetting : 18 -140
Fires: 5 -25
Electrocutions: 3 -15
Passing Out : 46 -230
Failing School : … shoot probably a lot actually ;_;
Accidental Deaths : (0)
Social Worker Visit : (0)
Game breakiness that’s my own fault : 2

Every Birth : 16 +80
Twins : (8) +80
Triplets : (1) +20
Fulfilling LTWs : 7 +280
NTH Spouse Reaching Top of Career : (0)
Every Honor Roll : 9 +45
Every 100,000 simoleons earned : 1 +20
Painting of Torch Holder (4) + 20

TOTAL = 130 minus something

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One thought on “Poolparazzi

  1. I have to agree with Lute, why are we letting Erbium stay and try to kill off the rest of the family? Are they still annoyed they didn’t get heir?

    Anyway, poolparazzi are fun! And annoying. I would not put it past Terbium to make some poolparazzi ghosts…

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