Stalk Market’s Up

Time for another chapter of the Mendeleev ISBI!

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We start off with *checks smudged writing on hand* Dendrobium getting into the wrong bed.

Dysprosium: But it’s green. I like green.

What’s your brother going to say about you taking his bed?

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Oh… never mind.

Nightlight: I haven’t been used in so long… so dark…

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Dysprosium: I wanted to hold the baby.

Gadolinium: Too bad, sis. Heir poll’s coming up and kissing babies is apparently a good way to get votes.

Failing school, however, isn’t. Get your asses on the bus.

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Who would spread such a rumor?

Terbium: I dunno, but whoever did it is going to be kicked out of… that thing we don’t talk about.

… Are you running a Fight Club in your high school?

Terbium: No comment.

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I can understand rewarding firefighters, but stylists? This is where our taxes go?

Europium: Well, they don’t go towards stopping the Fight Club under the high school. Or buying buses that fit more than three people.


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Elsa: Well, hello there, hot stuff. How about you give me a makeover. 😉

… You’re literally a clone of his great-great-something-grandmother. It’s not gonna work out. I’m not even sure if I changed your personality before plopping you down to be a townie.

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Europium: What? I’m good at my job; who wouldn’t look hot after I was done with them? Besides, after a few generations the genetic similarities between relatives goes down to…

I don’t wanna hear it.

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Elsa: Wanna take a ride on this? 😉

You aren’t taking a ride on anything unless it’s your Motive Mobile, Europium.

Europium: I’m sorry, my fashion senses are tingling. They say I need to teach someone across town to do their makeup.

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Okay… I say this with the greatest love in my heart, dear, but you look kind of sickly. Let Europium show you how to contour.

Seriously, she looked like she was bleeding from the eyes in her little icon. o_o

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Erbium: I haven’t been fed in hours, but that’s fine. I’ll just chill here.

What a good baby.

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Terbium: Why did you get that LTR again?

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No, Europium. No. June is sweet, and not a clone of your early ancestor. Also, she’s friends with all of the kids. I’m not even sure you know how many kids you have.

Europium: There’s, like, four or five, right?

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Arnold: Watch out for that Holmium kid. He’s got the Devil’s eyebrows.

June: … maybe Gadolinium’s right. Maybe video games do suck…

Arnold: … can you at least move away from the stairs?

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Europium: I’m great friends with my kids! You’re the evil one, right? Any plans to bring the world to its knees using radiation?

Holmium: I was mostly planning on studying for a test we have on Friday, and maybe spending more time with you…

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Fairy: I’m free! Freeeeeee! *dissolves in the air* Noooooo!

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I noticed this while setting up for Erbium’s party.

Forever Alone Calzone: *lives up to its name*

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Terbium: Woo! Happy birthday, you little NAME-STEALER!

Europium: *holds Terbium back so she doesn’t body slam the baby*

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Gadolinium: Woo! I got here in time for cake!

Dysprosium: I love cake!

Terbium: Woo! Cake!

June: … guys? The baby?

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Erbium: No one paying ‘tention to meeee!

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Terbium: This crying baby is really harshing my cake vibe.

Dysprosium: Same.

Holmium: Let’s go to the other room.

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Terbium: I heard there’s a meteor shower coming up on May 4th.

Holmium: Cool. We should watch it.

Dysprosium: Can’t. That’s a romantic action.

Arnold: … anyone want to pay attention to the birthday kid? Anyone?

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Dysprosium: Daddyy… I need a boyfriend or else I can’t see the staaaars…

Europium: You deal with her; I’m doing the dishes.

Arnold: But I’m eating cake!

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Gadolinium: Why weren’t you helping with the dishes, Terbs?

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Terbium: Don’t sass me! I’m the only reason Erbium even lasted to his first birthday. *slap slap*

I feel like this is the most dysfunctional generation I’ve played in this family.

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Arnold: See, kid? Stars out the window. You happy?

Dysprosium: *sniffle*

Arnold: … great. I think your siblings are fighting.

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Gadolinium: Grampa has no brains!

Arnold: Goddammit, kids.

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Europium: Holmium was mean to me one time that wasn’t on camera, so now you’re the only kid I can talk to about my fear of the dark that won’t be an asshole.

Dysprosium: Do I really have to, Dad?

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Dysprosium: I don’t think the night has to be scary, though. Grampa taught me you can see stars from the window, and you can see the moon, too! The moon makes it light out in the night!

Europium: Huh. I never thought about it like that.

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You’re lucky I gave you the fifth kid for yout LTW, June. Don’t push it.

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Gadolinium: Dad, shut the kid up!

Nervous: Not feeding your child? Bad parenting, dude.

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Krypton: … did I do it right?

It’s a slip and slide, not a… a… float and… something else.

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Speaking of doing things wrong.

Europium: I feel like picking up a toddler shouldn’t be rocket science.

Erbium: *screams*

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Well, Europium’s off to work, so it’s June’s turn to babysit.

Except she can’t pick Erbium up until he’s downstairs, apparently.

And Erbium can’t go downstairs unless he’s being carried.

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Elsa: Hey baby. 😉

You just got a makeover yesterday.

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Oh, hey. Europium has a friend.

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Irving: I became a stylist so we could hang out.

Elsa: I’m here for my makeoverrrrrrr.

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Europium: Normally I’d tell you to cut it out, but you’re my best customer, honestly.

Elsa: 😮 I’m your best customer?

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I had Europium escort the kids to prom so they wouldn’t be late.

Europium: *gasp* I hope there aren’t any clowns at this party!

Holmium: I think we’re like, ten years too old for clown parties.

Dysprosium: … but I like clowns. : (

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Terbium won prom queen and nothing else happened of note.

I’m not even sure if there are any other teens in town.

Although neither Holmium nor Gadolinium won prom king, so theoretically there should be at least one other teen.

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Well, that’s… weird. And possibly illegal.

Europium: … I kinda wanna do it just to see what happens.

Me too.

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Also weird.

And I do not want to go through with it just to see what happens.

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Gadolinium: Playing with the baby makes people want to vote for me, right?

Seriously. Bus. Go.

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Gadolinium: Haha, Terbs is the last one on. She has to ride on the bottom.

Terbium: We’ll see who’s laughing when I’m torch-holder and you’re all locked in the basement.

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Europium: So, uh… this is pretty weird, but can I take a picture of you?

Lola: Oh, you got it mixed up, sweetie. was the one to order the picture.

Europium: Oh, okay… that’s messed up. Lucky for you, I just telepathically got my jobs for today, and Karen wants a makeover. But I want to know why you need this picture when I get back.

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Europium: Mind if I take a picture before we get started? For my portfolio? A sort of ‘before and after’ thing?

Karen: I don’t see why not.

And then the game waited until I’d finished giving her the very extensive makeover she wanted, with hair and makeup and like two or three different outfits for every category, before it crashed.

I can only assume that Lola hacked into the mainframe. Her reasons for wanting the photo were too nefarious to be known.

Luckily I’m pretty sure most of this chapter, or the important parts at least, were saved. : )

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