In honor of both our recent four-year anniversary, and Mother’s Day, we have a special guest commentator who will be working with me for this post. The ‘mother’ of this entire family, Ellie! Say hello, Ellie.
Ellie: … there’s no one here.
They will be after this is posted.
Ellie: Ah. Hello.
Ellie will be in italics so I don’t have to write her name every time. : P
Everyone in the household seems to be lining up for our newest heir, Europium.
I’m glad he won; he’s got an interesting face.
Are you saying a descendant of mine is ugly?
That’s what it means when you say ‘interesting’.
That’s not what I… moving on.
I thought we might do something we haven’t done in a while: toddler training!
Cerium: Can you say ‘quill and ink’?
Samarium: … when would I ever need to say that at this day and age?
Samarium is unimpressed.
Maybe she should try teaching them with SCIENCE!
Why are they gazing into each other’s eyes like saps while the child destined to continue my family line sits crying a few feet away?
And you were the perfect parent, Ellie?
Of course! All of my parenting techniques were scientifically sound!
There was some sort of field trip at school, and Andromeda stole the seat on the bus meant for Promethium.
Neo: Don’t worry, I’ve got an eye on her. She won’t run away.
You two aren’t even possibilities for TH anymore.
Cerium: Say… microscope!
Finally, a word!
I TOLD you science would work!
Now to check on some of the other family members…
Wren is out with the cowplant.
Wren: Now that my parents are in another town and can’t whisk me away from this madness, I guess this is the next best thing…
No, Wren! Whoever you’re planning to kill with that thing, it’s not the answer!
Wren: … kill? No, I just like talking with him. Mangle really gets me.
The guys are… doing this.
Arnold: So I thought we could go fishing sometime. Have a guys’ day. Do you want to go fishing?
Barium: I’m ignoring you. Please stop blocking the television.
Neo’s being good and doing her science homework.
I’m so proud.
Promethium: I can do a good job taking care of the babies, too! I’ll be great friends with Europium, and then when he’s head of the family he’ll let me be the cool uncle living in the basement.
Europium: *snort* Dream on.
… so does anyone remember how I said that our family specializes in fails that don’t count as official fails in the ISBI rules?
You weren’t there. Anyway, yet more proof that the family excels in getting ‘creative’ with fails:
Er… Promethium? What are you doing on the computer?
He’s a technophobe, right?
Right. A technophobe that willingly got on the computer.
Arnold: What do you think you’re doing, young man?
Wha… why is he getting in trouble?
Promethium: Er… hey, Uncle Barium.
Barium: You do realize I was sitting here the whole time watching you set a booby trap, right?
Barium: Go take a time out!
Promethium: I’m like sixteen!
Europium: This is gettin’ good. 😀
Promethium: When can I leave?
Barium: When my show’s over.
Give it a second.
I REFUSE to have such unscientific phenomena featured in my legacy! Remove it.
You weren’t going on about the fairies.
I wasn’t thinking about it, but that goes for the ‘fairies,’ too. It would be impossible for wings of that size to lift a human being of that mass. What, they shrink? They would just become incredibly dense…
While Ellie is ranting, I’d like to point out this is a second time-out. He tried to pull a prank right in front of Barium a second time.
I remembered to fix Cerium’s hair.
Cerium: *sob* It’s just… so beautiful. I forgot what it was like to have ears that weren’t cold!
Rocking out in the bedroom.
… that sounded worse than I intended.
Don’t you get started on the fairies again.
Oh, you thought the Fail Saga had ended? You overestimate my sims.
Promethium: Finally, while he’s entranced by the evils of the Satanic device known as ‘technology!’
Barium: Oh, for the love of–
… that’s not even a punishment! Promethium HATES technology!
Promethium: Yes! Now I can tell my teacher I couldn’t do the online assignment because I can’t use the computer at home!
… is that what this was all about?
… are you still on that?
Promethium: If you fall off a horse nine times, you should always get on the horse ten times.
If chemicals explode in your face nine times, you should stop before you lose your eyebrows permanently. And probably get to a hospital.
That is… sound advice, Ellie.
WAIT IT SPARKLES???
WHO IS MY TH RIGHT NOW?
CERIUM, GO SIT ON THE SPARKLY THING.
Testing out fairy magic for SCIENCE!
… I feel conflicted.
Since the ‘bored to death’ pass out doesn’t count for a fail, I’m guessing ‘put to sleep by fairy curse’ doesn’t count either.
Wren: I can’t get me a midnight snack.
She was more concerned with getting food than doing the ‘it’s a ghost’ reaction, which made me like her more. : )
Well, it’s time for a birthday, and…
Putting drugs in a small child’s birthday cake for SCIENCE!
Note: Don’t actually give children drugs for an experiment unless they’re, like, beneficial drugs and also you’re a professional and also everyone’s consented to being part of the trial. But birthday cake still isn’t the best way to administer those drugs.
Is there… smoke coming out of the top now?
*furiously taking notes*
All the adults came down to celebrate!
Not like anyone has a choice. The call of the birthday cake, it is like a siren’s song.
Why is that?
The birthday candles emit sim-attracting pheromones when lit. Very powerful.
That explains so much.
Would you like to read my thesis?
Barium: … so when we get a new house, I was thinking ‘arcade’.
Samarium: Hello? Just gained the ability to walk, feed myself, and go up and down stairs? Anyone paying attention?
Barium: Not my kid. Anyway, for games we could have…
This is what Barium (and presumably the other adults) got from eating tainted cake.
Presumably? You didn’t CHECK?
I was focused more on getting Samarium situated as a child.
You make a very poor scientist, I hope you know.
Samarium got no moodlet from the herbs, but I’ve never seen a child play with a doll practically under a table (that I remember) so that counts for something.
Being excitable and absent-minded, I thought Sam wouldn’t want to take too much time doing her hair, so she got a short cut. (The other trait is friendly, which she had as a toddler.)
Next time, Europium and probably the teens will be aging up. And I think we might have a historic first in the Mendeleev legacy. : D
Self Wetting : 14 -120
Fires: 4 -20
Electrocutions: 3 -15
Passing Out : 34 -170
Failing School : 0
Accidental Deaths : (0)
Social Worker Visit : (0)
Game breakiness that’s my own fault : 2
Every Birth : 14 +70
Twins : (5) +50
Triplets : (1) +20
Fulfilling LTWs : 6 +240
NTH Spouse Reaching Top of Career : (0)
Every Honor Roll : 9 +45
Every 100,000 simoleons earned : 1 +20
Painting of Torch Holder (4) + 20
TOTAL = 135