So I tried to put in a mod that would let me overstuff the household, since we have six adults in the house and this generation will have two kids in it unless the grandparents die in a timely manner. And I always feel morbid while waiting for a sim to die.

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So we start Barium’s day at TH with him eating a hot dog, and his needs are all full, so that’s great. Time to go hit up the elixir store!

While I’m remembering, might as well check on Arnold’s traits and LTW.

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He is indeed a virtuoso, which explains his magnetic attraction to the family instruments (he’s stolen the majority of them for his inventory) as well as being neat, a workaholic, an angler, and star quality.

And his LTW… not happening.

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Thanks, but that’s kind of the opposite of what I want. I want Arnold to be aging up with Cerium as much as the next person (and I completely forgot that I could just cake him until I saw comments to age them up together *is a fail simmer*) but I would rather not have the two of them living forevers and evers.

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Hey Krypton, long time no see!

I have no idea why he’s fainting. I mean, he probably saw a ghost, but… I didn’t see any others out there?

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The mods I added for some reason made it so that the game lagged for an ungodly amount of time whenever I tried to have Barium try to interact with an elixir in his pocket. Didn’t bog down using any other items that I could tell, not even the chemistry table potions. Just the elixirs. Which is bad, as he needs to use fifteen more for his LTW.

So I had him read a book on how to make a job performance booster elixir, whatever it’s called. It’s not like it takes all that long to use the elixirs once you already have it, and the kids of the generation will be far apart in age if I don’t overstuff the household, so I figured I’d at least try?

Barium: Why am I helping my sister with her LTW?

Because it’s not a contest? : /

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Cerium: Look, Barium! I’m going to have a baby that’s EIGHT TIMES as cute as yours!

Barium: It totally IS a contest!

Because you two are making it into one. : /

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Now go collect some smoky quartz so you can make the liquid job booster. This will help both of you with your LTWs.

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Then I discovered that Antione had THIS in his pocket… along with like forty sketches from the sketchbook, but those aren’t actually impressive. Where in the world did a Vampire’s Eye come from?

Antione: A… vampire?

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Cake Platter: I have successfully escaped the legacy lot. I’m FREEEE! FREEEEEEEE!

… Barium, would you go pick that up and wash it?

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Cerium: Booooo! BOOOOOO!

She’s not even in the room with you, Cerium. Take a chill pill.

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Everyone lines up to interact with Neo. It’s pretty funny.

Wren: But… it’s my baby.

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… thankfully, Cerium’s not in bed to have Arnold wake her up when he plops the drums down in her bedroom.

Thankfully, she’s not even in the room, or he might hear some choice words about throwing off the room’s symmetry.

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This one is definitely her father’s daughter; even I can distinctly see his facial features in her. Hopefully she’s not a clone, but I don’t think she is, because her eyebrows are not nearly as scary as his were.

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Now we can  turn random sims into fairies!

… if we actually had the ingredients for it.

We need to collect a bunch of ingredients for any of the more interesting elixirs, really. Actually…

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One of the most fun elixirs to have is the flask of bees one, and you can pretty much ensure that you’ll have the ingredients for it by having some bee boxes, so Barium bought a bunch of bee boxes.

If Barium bravely bought a bunch of bee boxes, how many bee boxes did Barium bravely buy?

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‘Cause we got a little convoy
Rockin’ through the night
Yeah, we got a little convoy
Ain’t she a beautiful sight?

Antione got called out to work right after Cerium went out to the library.

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Aw, Barium is bonding with Arnold autonomously!

Arnold: So, can I borrow a camera? I thought if I sent some ‘pictures’ to Cerium it might make her come home… if you know what I mean.

Barium: One: NO! Two: Ew! Three: You have a camera on your phone!

… never mind, then.

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Neo: Red pill or blue pill? I’ll take a third option and EAT YOUR HEAD OFF!

Aren’t children precious?

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The uncontrollable sims in this house sure think so.

Barium: But… I wanted to give her a bottle!

He stood there and waited for her to finish, and promptly gave her a second bottle.

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Huh, looks like the paparazzi woman decided to switch jobs after her last one ended with her getting bees and things thrown at her. Now she’s Cerium’s boss.

Let’s befriend her! 8D

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Cerium: …So that’s why I really really hate water.


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Nothing like a glitchy Imaginary Friend to assure you that your game is working perfectly. : /

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Arnold, being the dirty cheat that he is, swiped this from the claw machine using his fairy powers. I think I named it Samus, but I’m not sure?

Oh, no. It’s Kirby.

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Cerium: So, do you like Key Lime Pie? I can make a mean Key Lime Pie. I’ll make one for you, if you want! I’ll make EIGHT pies for you!

Eugenia: … are you bribing me?

Cerium: … Nnyes?

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Caught Wren getting off the phone with her father. While hiding in one of the tiny little bathroom stalls.

Wren: You can prove nothing.

Methinks we might just get a phone call from a Mr. Knight expounding on his certain set of skills.

And then Mulan had a swimwear party, so I thought why not? And why not bring Eugenia so we can work on getting the relationship up a bit more?

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Mulan: This stinks. Someone better clean up before party.

… you’re the only one who lives here.

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Cerium: So… I’m incredibly cold. But let’s talk cooking some more.

Thank Heavens Seasons isn’t installed right now. : /

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Ohey, Lynda!

Lynda: The television broke, and the scary woman is making me play bass for entertainment. I fear for my life… help me… please…


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Fairy: This lady’s party sucks.

Katja: I don’t know… the bassist is pretty good.


Because you half-ass everything, Mulan.

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Eugenia: Well, you’re my friend now, so let’s hug!

Cerium: Finally! Warmth!

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Cerium: By the way, did you know your face is the most symmetrical I’ve seen?

Eugenia: Er…

Just kidding, Cerium went into labor a few minutes after I had to switch TH.

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Cerium: Okay, I need a sink, stat. Everything needs to be sterile before, during, and after the birth.



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Cerium: *screams*

Eugenia: Well, I’m tired. See you later, new friend! : )

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So, meet the new baby…

Hold on a second…

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Meet the new baby, Promethium! He’s a little boy who is… um…

Oh, yes! A clumsy light-sleeper. He’s also a fairy.

He’s also under the floor. Cerium, did you drop the baby through the floor?

Cerium: I had to go wash my hands!

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I just happened to see this while checking if the kid was a fairy in her relationship panel.

Cerium: I want to quit work now.

Because you had a baby? You want to be a stay-at-home mom?

Cerium: It’s not just that. I don’t want to work for a woman who’d leave me out in the snow, in labor, wearing a bathing suit.

That’s… fair enough.


Self Wetting : 13 -115
Fires: 4 -20
Electrocutions: 3  -15
Passing Out : 33 -165
Failing School : 0
Accidental Deaths : (0)
Social Worker Visit : (0)
Game breakiness that’s my own fault : 2

Every Birth : 12 +60
Twins : (5) +50
Triplets : (1) +20
Fulfilling LTWs :  5 +200
NTH Spouse Reaching Top of Career : (0)
Every Honor Roll : 9 +45
Every 100,000 simoleons earned : 1 +20
Painting of Torch Holder (4) + 20

TOTAL = 95


The Neonate

Hey, guys! I’m going back to college tomorrow. It was meant to be today, but then the weather was blah, so I played Sims today instead. Because I am on top of things.

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Speaking of on top of things, it’s nice to see that Barium can behave rationally and find his bed on his own. : /

At least it’s not a fail.

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I stopped playing last time because Dym aged up and I didn’t feel like giving him a makeover at the time, so I gave him one real quick here. And he’s up for download here.

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Wren’s getting ready to pop out a new baby at some point. By my calculations, she’ll have the baby on Cerium’s day as TH… actually, given that the pregnancies are an odd number of days, I think all babies should be born on the day of the TH that is not their parent, barring some wackiness going on in someone’s timing.

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Barium: I wasted gas to get over here, so I hope you have some elixirs that would be useful to me.

Ideally, I’d want some skill or job booster elixirs to use on our heirs. Saturday is usually when I’d do the family outing, but Cerium has her graduation so it’s pretty much pointless.

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I knew there was a reason we had faith in you, Cerium!

I knew what the outcome would be before the pop-up because Barium got to the town hall before anyone else, so he got out of ‘graduation’ before anyone else, accompanied by the most triumphant fanfare imaginable.

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Well, while everyone’s here and we have some elixirs from the store, I can have Barium work on the ‘use 50 elixirs’ half of his LTW.

Barium: BAM. You’re a vampire now!

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Barium: I just committed murder.

Yes, yes you did.

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And then we tossed out an ‘age of instant’ elixir so everyone within a ten mile radius got pulled into a birthday party for a random man.

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Cerium: Um… I was announced as Valedictorian? I just graduated? Where is everyone?

Celebrating a random stranger’s birthday. We went over this. Now please get changed into a different outfit soon so I can make your blush less ridiculous.

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Oops, my mistake. Antimony skipped the birthday party so she could play video games and fantasize about being mean to her nemesis.

Who, coincidentally…

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… is stalking her son.

Lynda: Barium… we have so much in common…

Er… he’s the son of your nemesis and your son is dating his sister?

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Lynda: Ba… ri… um…

Please don’t go all yandere up in my game.

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Antimony and Antione are turning into elders!

I remember when Antimony was born; they grow up so fast.

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Antione became a cute old man and immediately started to celebrate his wife’s wedding. They’re so cute.

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Antimony as an old lady. She’s super adorable. : 3

I gave her glasses for her everyday clothing because her eyes are going, but she’s still in her formal right now from the graduation.

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And then Cerium wanted to pillow fight with Antimony, but her time as TH was starting and she has work to do.

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Hey Gorgeous.

Cerium: Do you think I can actually go steady with Arnold today?

Maybe, but it’s two in the morning, so read your skill book first and stop looking prettily at the camera.

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Wren really enjoys video games, which isn’t a problem. She wants to be rich and we’re only something like 30,000 simoleons away from her LTW anyway. Her job here is basically to pop out babies.

And be the love of Barium’s life or whatever.

Screen Shot 2015-01-18 at 12.19.02 PMPoor Wren gets a rumor started about her. Not only is it a lie, but the rumor-mongers would have gotten it right if they’d only said that Barium were rummaging through trash rather than Wren.

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I sent the family out to the park, so that we could have our outing and meet with Arnold at the same time, but Barium and Wren chose to stay home for some reason. Barium was watching television and Wren was occupied with washing her hands.

Cerium: I’ve done a perimeter check and found minimal amounts of water on this lot. Ready to meet with Arnold.

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Then this inappropriately-dressed sim had to interrupt us with ‘medical emergencies’ and ‘needing a doctor’. Luckily, Antione can react to her on her own, because her moaning was keeping Arnold so that he couldn’t interact with Cerium.

Cerium: Yoohoo! Arnold? I’m over here.

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Screen Shot 2015-01-18 at 12.22.36 PM*sigh*

Cerium: What? He might have germs on his mouth or something.

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Thankfully, Arnold agrees. I think he must have just been in a bad mood the other day when he left for basically no reason.

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Cerium: Now come back to my house so that we can get married in a few hours?

Lady: Why can’t I hit any of these rabbits?

Maybe if you played the game facing the right way. : /

I toyed with the idea of having a private wedding, but I felt like it wouldn’t be fair if Barium’s wedding were a big deal and Cerium got married in a park with her SO wearing his graduation gown.

Screen Shot 2015-01-18 at 12.24.27 PMAnd then this happened out of nowhere.

I swear, I didn’t even notice the pop-up. So Neodymium is a little girl who is a loner and hates the outdoors. She likes the color lilac, so she’s been put in Lanthanum’s old room. Since her name is so long, I think she’ll be going by Neo. : )

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Wren: I just created life!

Antimony: You just created a block in the doorway, is what you created. : /

Ah, family love.

And then the wedding invitations were given out and there was HEART-FARTING everywhere!

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A lot of the heart-farting happened between the Mendeleev, Kahn, and Knight families that are connected by marriage now. Or at least about to be.

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I sent Cerium to take care of Neo because she was crying, and Wren suddenly decided to pick her up.

Wren: It’s okay, baby. I’ll take care of you. You don’t need to be afraid of your scary Auntie.

Cerium: … you’re the one who left her on the floor.

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Barium: Loser has to forsake being torch-holder and leave the house forever?

Cerium: You’re on!

Guys? Guys?? I didn’t approve of this!

Antimony’s Picture: *looks like it’s finished just to MOCK ME*


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Silver: I know. : )

I wasn’t expecting that to be finished… I have no idea when that happened! Hell, it might have happened when she was a ghost? I’m not sure if that’s even possible.

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Antimony: So… you’re Cerium’s fiance?

Arnold: Yes, yes I am.

Antimony: You’re kind of cute.


Here’s a diagram showing relationships in this game.


… It’s not the best because I was not organized in putting things together, but you can see that it would be convoluted and tangled up even if I were a master family tree-maker.

And then the wedding happened: somehow there was no heart-farting at that point.

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Although barely anyone was thinking about the wedding.

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Except for our couple, who both thought about wedding bells at some point, which is cool, since usually they pop up with weird thought bubbles about all sorts of things when they’re getting married, in my experience.

If only it weren’t the full moon. My lighting mod has stopped working, apparently.

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You may now kiss the bride.

I haven’t decided what I’m going to do with Arnold being a long-lived fairy, so if anyone has a preference as to what I should do with his life-state and if I should let him live his full life or not, leave a comment. I haven’t played with fairies or anything much, so I’m not even sure if I can have him forsake powers of the fae within the rules of the ISBI or not.

Er. Back to the wedding.

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I had the newlyweds try for baby a handful of times, trying to get her pregnant before midnight came and I had to switch over, but no dice.

Arnold: Where are you even keeping your phone?

Cerium: you don’t wanna know.

Screen Shot 2015-01-18 at 12.35.15 PMEr… oops?

Cerium had work, apparently. : /

She’s a lot higher on her cooking skill than she needs to be for that level, though, so I’m not too worried.

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Arnold discovered the drums after I had to let Cerium go free. It’s 1 AM so it’s lucky he doesn’t wake up the whole house, although I don’t know how.

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Cerium takes care of Neo because everyone’s asleep.

I’m excited for this generation and the family dynamics that might pop up.

But, you might be saying, you can control Barium, so why didn’t you wake him up to care for the baby?

Well, that is because Barium was awake…

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… and at the library. Finished with his alchemy books.

Barium: Can we all just agree that I’m the better heir?

You had something like five days more than Cerium did. Take a chill pill.

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Quick check on the family to make sure everything’s alright.

Not burning down the house? Okay, proceed.

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I have Barium go and pick up some elixirs.

… does your coworker change every time we come here?

Blonde Shopkeeper: We haven’t really found anyone who’s worked out yet. : /

Screen Shot 2015-01-18 at 12.44.17 PMOoh, Cerium’s wedding was an amazing party!

… which is weird, because I basically married them and then we ignored the guests for the rest of the night.

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Barium threw potions at random sims for a while out at the park, and then we ran out.

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So he made as many vial of bliss elixirs as he could and drank them all at once. I didn’t realize that just reading the alchemy books would get him to Level 10 of the skill without knowing any recipes.

He simultaneously knows everything about alchemy and nothing. Huh.

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It’s kind of weird alternating between the torch-holders. It’s almost like I’m playing two games at the same time. As soon as midnight hits, I go from micromanaging Barium’s LTW progression to micromanaging Cerium’s love-life.

I have no idea what that moodlet he’s thinking of is, but I hazard a guess that it’s a good one.

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The lullaby comes on the first try this time. They were using their bed rather than the wardrobe this time, although I can’t think that that had anything to do with it.

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I believe Cerium’s overtaken her brother’s skill in cooking, now, which is good. I might change her wish to Culinary Librarian because that would be easier to achieve with the baby-making and such, especially as I can only control her one half of the time, but I want to see how she does progressing in her career first.

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Hot dog bonding time?

Antimony: Now hold the hot dog far away from your face and chomp down in an exaggerated manner.

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Wren: My hot dog-eating prowess is how I caught Barium’s attention at Prom.

Arnold: We didn’t have hot dogs at prom! Unless your prom was a lot less fancy than ours was…

Antimony: Don’t think about it too hard, kid.

While we’re paying attention to Antimony, I have an elder action that I can use for her.

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That is quite a lot of money.

Yes, we will be taking that money, kthxbai.

Screen Shot 2015-01-18 at 1.01.00 PMAntimony: Now I’m free to be a criminal, like I’ve always wanted!

Um… what?

Even if I was going to fill that wish, I’m not allowed to.


Self Wetting : 13 -115
Fires: 4 -20
Electrocutions: 3  -15
Passing Out : 33 -165
Failing School : 0
Accidental Deaths : (0)
Social Worker Visit : (0)
Game breakiness that’s my own fault : 1

Every Birth : 11 +55
Twins : (5) +50
Triplets : (1) +20
Fulfilling LTWs :  5 +200
NTH Spouse Reaching Top of Career : (0)
Every Honor Roll : 9 +45
Every 100,000 simoleons earned : 1 +20
Painting of Torch Holder (4) + 20

TOTAL = 90


It’s Raining Men(deleevs)

So, last time Silver died and people moved out, so I had room to finally finally FINALLY move graves over from when I forgot them back in Roaring Heights. So I got my simself on that right away.

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You can’t find me attractive! YOU ARE MARRIED. Stopitstopitstopitstopitstopit.

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*sigh* Just go and get the graves real quick so we can pop out of here.

Sabrina: I’m somehow already tired.

Maybe because the new gremlin puppy likes to eat human flesh at night when you’re trying to sleep?

Sabrina: Possibly.

She has a hunger only hands can satisfy.

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I couldn’t figure out how to spawn investigator jobs; the ‘spawn job’ cheat only came up if I had Antimony as my active sim, to spawn a ghost hunter job, so I had Barium quit his job and we’ll be pursuing the Alchemy Artisan thing, because I haven’t really done alchemy yet.

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Cerium, don’t kill yourself over the asymmetrical house design.

Cerium: I’m not! I’m feeding the cowplant! God!

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Barium will be spending quite a bit of time reading up on alchemy in the library. So I figured it would be a good time to plop my simself in and move in the graves.

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Sabrina: I… don’t even think I have any skills?

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TA DA! *triumphant music*

The gnomes are Link and Luigi, I believe.

I moved my simself out, and she got a house rather than being kicked out so that the money she brought in would leave with her. Have fun, little simself. Procreate, preferably. Sims exist only to breed, after all.

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Ohey, Caesium and Lanthanum came to the library!

It’s kind of nice to send sims out to read at the library or other community lots. Cool to see all the other sims that come in.

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Lucy is almost dressed appropriately!

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And this kid FINALLY took a shower!

Raz: My mom forced me to bathe before I could graduate. : /

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Caesium: How’s your LTW going?

Barium: Er… I had to give up on it because of glitches. I’m skilling for alchemy now to fulfill my new one. How’s your wish to be rich and famous?

Caesium: Still not a celebrity. : /

Barium: That’s weird; I’m a three-star celebrity just from interacting with my fiance.

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Dym found one of the guitars. So that was cool.

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Wren: I’m… going to be marrying your son…

Antione: *eats food* *ignores*

Wren: …

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We were doing… something… on Saturday. I think I was working on Barium’s then-LTW? Anyway, I had a quasi-family outing mid-week to make up for it, although the teens were at school and Antione was at work. It ended up being these three reading for an afternoon. It was thrilling.

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On the bright side, Cerium’s got on honor roll!

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She went to her boyfriend’s house after school.

Cerium: Wait… you’re the werewolf who traumatized me when I was a child!

It’s a small world. Especially when there are only a few families in town because it was empty when we moved in.

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Werewolf Kahn: So, you’re the girl dating my son…


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Arnold: Don’t mind my father, Cerium. I wrote some music for you. It’s palindromic, so it’s the same whether you play it forwards or backwards.

Cerium: That’s nice, but I should be getting home…

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Cerium: I was just saying that!

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The ghosts are starting to come out from the new/old graves!

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… and then I had Barium go back to the library, and I’d apparently forgotten to disband the group because Wren and Antimony followed right after him. They’re even in same order, although they sat in reverse order because I took this picture from the opposite angle. : /

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Dym: Shouldn’t Mom be scolding me, anyway? Is she even doing anything important?

Barium: NO SHE IS NOT.

And then we had a wedding!

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Or we would, if Wren weren’t sleeping and dreaming of her hatred of water…


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After waking up Wren, we’re ready for the wedding… if anyone learns how to door.

Wren: I’ll get there as soon as my mother-in-law gets out of the doorway.

Antimony: I want to see the wedding.

It’s in the exact opposite direction, Antimony.

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… the wedding takes so long to begin that the guests start to make fun of imaginary people. : /

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Ohey, it’s Wren’s mom. Her hair is awful.

… I was too preoccupied with getting the couple to marry that I didn’t fix it. Whatever. : /
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Barium: Wren, now that two hours have passed since we’d first planned to get married, will you marry me?

Wren: Of course. : )

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Wren: With this ring, I thee wed…

Barium: *barely-contained girlish squeeing*

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Aww, so cute. Now let’s see how many hours it takes to get them all into the kitchen.

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It too me far too long to realize that Zhasmina wasn’t topless. That shirt matches her skin tone pretty well.


We all are, Dym. We all are.

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Lullaby, yay! The next generation will be coming up soon, and anyone who knows their periodic table (or is curious enough to look it up) will know that our next kid will be named Neo. Well, Neodymium. So that’s something.

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Aria: Hope your marriage is going well, daughter dearest. Here’s a pole. 😉

Wren: … thanks mom. >_>

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Barium: One step closer to my LTW BAM!


So we’ve used something like two out of fifty elixirs.

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… what kinds of relationships are you talking about, game? What what WHAT are you even talking about?

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Cerium aged up over at Arnold’s. If she wants to have her birthday with her boyfriend, that’s fine. It’s her decision.

I have no idea how that vampire relates to anyone. : /

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Cerium’s last trait is brave, and I believe her LTW is one of the culinary ones. I think it’s reaching level ten of the career.

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*unintentionally gives her the same shirt*

Cerium: I’m still afraid of water, but I can be BRAVE about it now! 😀

Her cheeks are really red; I might have to change that. : /

And by the way… Barium and Cerium!

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I turned one of the empty houses into an elixir shop, because I couldn’t find one.


Shopkeeper 2: Will you just shut up and get back to the register? I’m not spending the next four hours of my shift listening to you scream at an empty store.

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It’s Antimony’s first day as torch-holder, so Barium is out of my control for now. I’m probably not going to note every time that we switch TH, since we’ll be switching every day. But Barium’s first action once he’s done with the last one I’d given him before midnight was to talk about the weather with Dym.

Cerium: *studying cooking*

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Barium: Hey, sis. I know your LTW involves cooking, but I’m already way better at cooking than you are.

Barium’s just owning his sisters by being better at getting their LTWs than they are, it seems.

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Wren: Oh, look. I’m pregnant.


Since I can only control Cerium every other day, I decided to invite Arnold over to see if we can age him up and move him in.

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… calm down, kid. It’s just a birthday.

Cerium: See, Barry? I actually WATCH MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER GROW UP!


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So let’s just focus on moving him in right now… do some friendly interactions, Cerium. Get rid of the ‘ask about alma mater’ and ‘ask about job’ ones first so they’ll get out of the little interaction wheel.

Cerium: Um… what do you do for a living?

Arnold: Someone here has problems I’m leaving. ò_ó

… That could’ve gone better.

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… and while Wren had a medical degree while in high school, it seems that Arnold and Cerium have gone to a nonexistent school. : /


Self Wetting : 13 -115
Fires: 4 -20
Electrocutions: 3  -15
Passing Out : 33 -165
Failing School : 0
Accidental Deaths : (0)
Social Worker Visit : (0)
Game breakiness that’s my own fault : 1

Every Birth : 10 +50
Twins : (5) +50
Triplets : (1) +20
Fulfilling LTWs :  5 +200
NTH Spouse Reaching Top of Career : (0)
Every Honor Roll : 9 +45
Every 100,000 simoleons earned : 1 +20
Painting of Torch Holder (4) + 20

TOTAL = 85

A Study in Lilac

Happy New Year, and Happy New Generation!

Barium and Cerium will be taking the reins this time, but it’s just Barium for now because Cerium’s still a teen.

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Antimony: WHO DID THIS?

I don’t know, Antimony, but I can’t control you anymore, so you’ll have to figure that out on your own.

Anyway, unveiling of the YAs!C

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Caesium here got charismatic, so hopefully she’ll be able to be a movie star or whatever it is she wants to do with her life when she’s an uncontrollable sim.

I remembered to upload her when I did her makeover! Yay!

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I have no idea why I took this picture. Possibly because I remembered that there was a hats section for hairs… which is understandable because 99% of the time I don’t use random cowboy hats and bicycle helmets on my sims… and gave Lanthanum a hat that might hopefully make up for not having a horse?

Lanthanum: IT DOESN’T.

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Lanthanum: You know what would be a great gift, Dad? A motorcycle! It’d be a stress-reliever to ride one of those around town…

Lanthanum is a vehicle enthusiast, because cars and motorcycles are the closest he has to horses.

Lanthanum: … I could name it Brownie and give it hay.

Lanthanum is available here.

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And here’s… oh my.

I think the facial hair really looks good on him. That’s another thing I feel like I forget 99% of the time when giving sims a makeover.

Barium’s final trait is good sense of humor, and he wants to be a private investigator. Hopefully we can get in 35 cases on the days when he’s actually controllable.

I forgot to save him but I’ll nab him next time I’m in the game.

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Barium gets a job as soon as possible so he can get working on his career. The Motive Mobile that he can probably keep working for days on end without stopping, so I think we’ll do alright with the cases.

Barium: But… the Motive Mobile wastes gas… it might be filling my needs, but what of the EARTH’S needs? The Earth is the biggest sim of all!

The Earth is one big ISBI, Barium.

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Antimony: Gee, Mom! I’m glad we both agree that this game of ping pong is more important than the unfinished portrait in the other room!

Silver: Indeed!

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First case!

Katja: I think someone is kicking over my gnomes.

Barium: … is that really all that important? And also I don’t see any gnomes on this lot?

Katja: I mostly called you because your hot. Dig in my neighbor’s garbage and I’ll pay you.

Barium: Fair enough.

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Barium: Livin’ the dream!

It’s your LTW.

Barium: You couldn’t have picked ‘International Superspy’?


Barium: For you, maybe. : /

Hair: *is afraid of hats and disappears whenever one is present on Barium’s head*

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Barium: Okay, I have photographic evidence. Apparently, they WERE kicking your gnomes. But she pinkie-promised to stop.

Katja: Wow, is it hot out here, or is it just you?

Barium: … it’s just you. You’re a vampire, remember?

Katja: Oh. Right.

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Barium: Hold on, I gotta graduate first.

Katja: Can I come with you? 😦

Barium: I have a girlfriend. And you’re engaged or married or something.

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I’m sure I had some clever line planned for this picture, but all I can think about right now is the adorable snowman snowglobe in front of city hall.

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… except that his entire job consists of wandering around town doing tasks for random townies.

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One: Barium’s not psychic.

Two: I’m pretty sure this was the glitchy opportunity that Antimony had.

Three: Antimony’s not a psychic, either; the ghost-hunter career uses gadgets and doodads to find ghosts. There’s an actual fortune-telling career.

So we’re not going all Psych on the local police department.

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Barium: So… you want me to do what again?

Lady: Dig through my neighbor’s trash for… reasons…

Barium: I’m beginning to think that this town is either really petty, or full of people who are conspiring to have me dig through trash for shits and giggles. But I’m being paid so whatever.

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Cerium: GRANNY NO!

SILVER! Don’t die! We have room in the house after Caesium and Lanthanum got kicked out into the snow! You don’t need to die after all!

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Silver: It’s alright, Cerium. Go back inside. You’ll catch your death out in that little dress… Hm… *examines t-shirt* Come to think of it, maybe that’s what’s happening.

Cerium: *sob*

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Death: Silver Mendeleev, your time is up.

Silver: Wait! I still have to finish that painting!

Death: I gave you MORE than enough time, Silver. Now get in your gravestone. It’s the best one; come on, no complaining.

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Barium was away from the house so didn’t hear of the news.

Barium: Um… green lady? I did what you wanted. : /

Lady: Wait until I’m done, kid!


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Barium: Hey, fellow torch-holder! Wanna have a long conversation about developing film?

Cerium: … our grandmother just died.

Barium: Oh. That explains the huge gravestone out front.

Cerium: Also, your sideways hat makes me want to break your jaw.

Barium: … I’m going to go find another case now.

At this point, Barium’s next ‘case’ is… study at a library.

Okay then.

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Barium: I don’t think this is working.

Yeah, there’s no study option outside of university. : / Go find another case, then.

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Dym: Look, I know you’re upset, Barium, but you need to take that hat off and get some hair.

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We invited Wren over to give her a birthday.

Wren: Omigod! That’s why you didn’t come to school today!

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Apparently she’s already graduated university with a degree in science and medicine.

Barium: … and you’re in high school because?

Wren: People don’t trust doctors who are too young to drive, and I was tired of sitting at home all day. : /

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Happy Birthday, Wren!

If you’re lucky, you might actually see your parents again in your lifetime.

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Barium proceeds to go watch television rather than watch his girlfriend become an adult.

Barium: You’ve seen one birthday, you’ve seen them all.

That’s just a little rude, Barium. Just a little.

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Oh god that hair.

Maybe it’s better that Barium didn’t witness this.

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… she wasn’t kidding about the medical degree.

And I don’t know her traits yet. Oops.

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Wren: He wasn’t there for my birthday.

Oh, I’m sorry, baby. : (

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Barium pounced her directly after her makeover.

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And then this:

Barium: Will you marry me, Wren?

Wren: Oh, Barium… I’m trapped in this house until I say yes, right?

Pretty much.

Wren: Then yes! Yes I will!

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Barium: Wahhhh! This was Grandma’s bathroom we just woohooed in!

Wren: … it was still good, right?

Barium: But we wasted WAAAATERRRR!

Oh well, off to solve a case.

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Wren: So this is what you do for a living?

Barium: Basically.

Wren: This is kind of disappointing.

Barium: Could you leave? I can’t do this with you watching.

Wren: Barium Mendeleev, I am going to be your WIFE, and–

Barium: No, I think that coding literally won’t let me do this with someone watching.

Wren: Okay, I’ll go back home, then.

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Barium: … my butt is cold.

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Barium: … I don’t have exams?

Police: Then we don’t have any cases for you. : P

Barium: … could you check again?

Police: Well, there is one…

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Mulan: I need you hack computer and get dirt on assholes who fire me from being teacher!

Barium: Er… alright.

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How’s the case going.

Barium: I’m mostly finding things on the school’s website that make me think she should have got fired sooner. But… I think a teacher was watching Mythbusters on a school computer once to see if it was appropriate to show their science class? I guess we can pass that off as ‘dirt’.

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Barium: … I never said any of that. As long as I’m getting paid, though. : / Next case.

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And then I sent Barium into the building like five times, and each time he was told to go study at home or at the library.

Police: If you can’t study at home, and you can’t study at the library, I don’t know what crimes there are that you can solve, Mr. Picky.

Barium: … any way to fix this?

I guess we’ll need to resort to spawning cases through cheats? It’s not really cheating since there would be an endless stream of cases during normal game play, anyway, and I’m just fixing the glitch where the police apparently think they’re giving out opportunities to college students. : /


Self Wetting : 13 -115
Fires: 4 -20
Electrocutions: 3  -15
Passing Out : 33 -165
Failing School : 0
Accidental Deaths : (0)
Social Worker Visit : (0)
Game breakiness that’s my own fault : 1

Every Birth : 10 +50
Twins : (5) +50
Triplets : (1) +20
Fulfilling LTWs :  5 +200
NTH Spouse Reaching Top of Career : (0)
Every Honor Roll : 8 +40
Every 100,000 simoleons earned : 1 +20
Painting of Torch Holder (4) + 20

TOTAL = 80